The virtue of forgiveness has been always thought by the society to be great, generous and giving. When one forgives, immediate respect and admiration would be often given.
Why?
That is because it is difficult to forgive. Forgiveness in itself is one of the greatest obstacles and challenges that someone has to overcome. It may take days, weeks, months, years or even a lifetime.
Forgiveness is not simple, it cannot be done quickly, and it is a process. All wounds take time to heal.
Some may disagree and say that they are able to forgive easily, however are they really able to?
Forgiveness is not
- Condoning the offense- Claiming that the offense done is harmless or acceptable.
- Pretending the offense has never happened
- Allowing others to take advantage of you
- Forgiving without a valid and proper reason
- “Forgiving” every perceived slight or small error being done to you- At times we may not have the right to forgive as actions done may not be actually a valid offense.
Forgiveness is to “Let Go”. It is to allow you to break free from the heavy chains of self-victimisation, the weight of hate towards the offender, and the anger pulling you down because of that damage done.
Although forgiving is a really complex and perplexing, it has the power to devote us to emotional freedom. It grants us the liberation to start living a life for ourselves.
How to Start Forgiving?
Know exactly what you are forgiving
Learn to differentiate! Assess what the offense is owed to you & not what the offense is owed to the society. It is not to forgive that the offender has broken the law or harmed others, but rather forgive of the hurts you experienced due to the offense. This provides you the opportunity to forgive with a sincere and genuine heart.
Be empathetic
Have empathy to both the offender and yourself. Embrace the wounds, scars, & imperfections that all humans have. Give the offender the second chance, the second chance may just be what they need to change. Encourage yourself that you are trying and learn that it takes time to forgive, doing what is right.
Cherish yourself
Remind yourself that you do have a chance to break free from your hurts. You deserve to live more than being trapped in the room of destruction, hate, anger, frustration, and vengeance. Your life should not be controlled by the offender or the offense. Your life is in your own hands, decide to love, forgive and cherish yourself.
The greatest gift of Forgiveness is not through forgiving others but through forgiving ourselves!
"Having the simplest forgiveness, create Legends"
