HeartSGBlogs:Attention

Attention, a military lingo used;

Pay Attention, a phrase that is commonly used in classroom settings;

Being attentive, an action that is cherished and valued by all

Attention is something that is so hard to obtain or get from others or even ourselves.

Fun Fact: In just the past 15 years, the average human attention span has decreased from 12 seconds, in 2000 to 8.25 seconds, in 2015?

With the rapidly, evolving and changing world, the number of distractions has not only increased but are also now fighting to be even more novel and fresh. With the increased intensity, competition and amount of distractions, it is of no doubt why our attention span has significantly decreased over the past 15 years. However, we should not allow this trend to continue on as attention has many significant functions that allow us to function on personal, interpersonal, intrapersonal levels.

Attention allows us to stay connected. It is through connections that we get to know what is going on, which gives us a sense of what to do. Attention allows us to see the full effects of our actions, which drives values, sense of direction, motives, goals, missions etc.

Paying Attention and being attentive to things that matter would be life-changing, pay attention and be attentive to the internal rather the external; to the present instead of the past; to your loved ones instead of yourself.    

3 simple ways to pay attention and be attentive to your attention

Know your distractions 

Everybody is different and unique in what attracts their attention. For example, when you are distracted, pay attention to what and why that distraction is able to get your attention, it could be due to the sound, the color, the meaning, etc. Once you figure out how your distractions get your attention, you can then learn to effectively deal with oncoming distractions that keeps you away from getting a better life.

Understand your attention

Only when you understand your attention then you can enhance it. What is your level of attention, how do you feel when you get so absorbed into doing an activity, what gets your attention, how long does your attention lasts, etc. Start doing one thing at a time to get a rough estimate on your capacity for attention, if you are eating, only eat, if you are texting, text.  Once you understand your attention, you can work on ways to selectively increase and decrease it to have a better life.

Caring for your attention

Sometimes, we may want to get something done, or achieve a goal that we often abuse, misuse, direct, or control attention in the wrong manner. Treat your attention like a living person, do not overwork it, give it sufficient rest when it needs to and it will provide you with what you need or even more than you need.

"Having the simplest attention, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Gentleness

Gentleness is the softness of manners, mildness of temper, sweetness of disposition, and meekness.

Gentleness has always been associated with being weak and fragile; hence this trait is usually kept hidden.

People with a gentle disposition have always been deemed as an easy prey for predators. They are often associated with identities that no one wants, the “bullied”, the “victim”, the “naïve”, etc.

We hide this gentleness because we want to protect ourselves from the cruel world. We were always told not to show our tears, our weaknesses, our scars because we never know when it might be used as a deadly weapon by others to hurt us.

Showing a façade, of always showing your strong side, your happy side, being self-confident

Building an armor, of being fierce, domineering, being the bully, being the perpetrator

Are you really happy, do you have the confidence to maintain it, do you feel yourself?

Although putting on a strong persona allows you to guard yourself and protect yourself from dangers, it is only ultimately a mask, and you will feel exhausted, sad, negative, depressed and lost to maintain it.

Gentleness is the sources of humanity the one that connects, sustains and makes you feel belonged, accepted and loved. We all need it, and we should start a society that embraces gentleness instead of hiding it. Join us in the mission to make the society a gentler one.

3 acts of gentleness

Being gentle with yourself

Embrace your imperfections and focus on your talents and strengths.  Some simple acts to be gentler with you include, giving yourself daily positive encouragements and affirmations’, telling yourself it is alright to fail or make mistakes or spending 5 minutes enjoying being alone with yourself.

Being gentle with those surrounding you

Accept your loved ones for who they are and forgive them in disagreements, conflicts or fights. Some simple acts to learn to the gentler to those surrounding you include remaining calm and giving in in times of arguments,  showing more concern by paying attention to the minor details, or being more patient. 

Being gentle to your community

Help and show appreciation to strangers. Some simple acts of being gentler to your community include smiling or greeting another, saying please or thank you when buying your morning coffee, or sharing your table during the peak hour.  

Gentleness cannot be developed overnight, it may be hard at the beginning but it can be trained and learnt over time. Practice makes perfect. The more gentle acts you do, you not only have the grace of nurturing the softer side of yourself but to those around you and the community as well.

Imagine a community where gentleness is cherished upon. I am sure it will be a happier one, filled with laughter, peace and joy.

"Having the simplest gentleness, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs:Loyalty

Loyalty is when one acts or remains committed, devoted or faithful to something even when it is likely to be disadvantageous or costly to the individual.

Have you ever watched the movie, Hachi: A Dog's Tale?

This movie portrays and depicts the true value of loyalty. If you have never watched it, it is about a dog that kept waiting for its owner to return home till the day he died.

Loyalty has the capacity to touch our hearts; it is not only about showing utter faithfulness and devotion towards something, but also putting that something above your own needs. Loyalty cannot be bought; it cannot be shown through words. It is something that has to be earned and it only can be built upon through actions.

Loyalty is valuable as it allows us to take the risk of predicting the actions and behaviour of people we trust. Loyalty is that glue that sticks and bonds every relationship, it is an important value both in our career and personal lives. Loyalty is evidence, that we do in fact have important people that we value and trust in comparison to the utterly cold world that is always being portrayed.

Being loyal is about devotion and vulnerability, but it’s never naive. Loyalty based on blindness and submission is not true loyalty. The true strength and miracles created by loyalty should only be seen and experienced by an individual who deserves your loyalty. Develop Loyalty and choose to express them to the right people.

3 ways to increase your loyalty

Honour your commitments

The basic aspect of a loyal person is when promises are kept and actions remain consistent with promises. Protecting and safeguarding the special something/someone.  When you honour your commitments, the other can then entrust that you will always have their backs.

Have Faith Even in Doubt

Loyalty means maintaining trust even in situations of doubt. No matter right or wrong, the first instinct of loyalty should be to always believe that there are justifiable reasons for their actions. In the event where all evidence points against them, you will still remain and stand on their side.

Stand against the test of time

Being loyal means withstanding the test against time, no matter what circumstances or situations faced in the future, you will continuously be with them. Not deserting, running away, or leaving them alone. Being present in every circumstance, times of health and sickness, poverty and wealth, happiness and sadness.  

"Having the simplest loyalty, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Punctuality

Punctuality… How many times have we been late for appointments/meetings/gatherings?

I am pretty sure that all of us are guilty of being late. Sometimes not following the scheduled time is so common that we purposely arrive late as we know that most will not come on time. Since, we will have to wait, why get ready later.

The value of punctuality is getting rarer each day.

Time is not as treasured today as it was in the past. We are able to take time much more lightly now due to advancements of the world. Phones enable us to communicate a lot faster, cars reduce our transportation time, we now have flexible working hours, and even the capacity of freezing reproductive cells.  There is a lot more flexibility around time and that actually gives us a lot more time than our ancestors used to have.

Hence, now the one who values time and has the trait of punctuality seems to be labelled as the uptight one.

However, we all know that in when someone is punctual, it shows a lot. It shows one’s respect for others, integrity, dependability and discipline. In our hearts, we definitely appreciate and value a punctual person more than a  person who does not arrive on time. 

Instead, of going with the flow of lateness, why not make a difference and decide to be that punctual someone whom is admired and loved.

3 steps to be a punctual person

Value Time

Think bigger, our time on earth will eventually come to an end. Time cannot be controlled; we don’t know how much time we will have. Precisely because of its uncertainty, the more important it is. Treasure every second on earth and use it as wisely and effectively as possible.

Treasure the freedom to organise your time

When you start to organise and manage your time to be punctual, you start to feel that instead of time controlling you, you are controlling time instead. This control gives us a sense of satisfaction. And it is with punctuality that you get to savour the sweetness of freedom.

Expect the “unexpected”

Unfortunately, 90% of the time, things do not go according to plans. Always be prepared to face an unexpected situation. Instead of just being on time, go an extra mile of arriving early, getting ready the night before, set multiple alarm clocks.  

Punctuality is something that should be expected and normal again. Every little effort counts, be that special punctual person that creates a difference in the society TODAY!

"Having the simplest punctuality, create Legends"