HeartSGBlogs: Humility


“Be yourself”; “Follow your heart”; “Be true to yourself”. 


These are the typical sayings and encouragements that we sometimes need. It fosters our sense of confidence, optimism, individuality and uniqueness. Motivations for self-love and self-care have been growing in the society and community, where we choose to adore ourselves and start living for ourselves.


Nonetheless, the concept of “self-love” is rather vague, where one can be easily be misled into the path of selfishness. To avoid this, balance has to be found. While practicing self-love, we must also not forget the significance of others in our lives, hence emphasizing on the trait of humility.


Humility means giving priority to putting the needs of another person before your own, and thinking of others before yourself.

Humility just like self-love is equally rewarding. 

Humility accentuates and shows how others can become a source of light into our lives.



-It allows us to put down our pride. Instead of acting or 
pretending to know what you are doing, it enables you to 
know that it is perfectly alright to say “I do not know”, “I want 
to learn”, “I need your help”.  


-It allows us to live a more fulfilling life. Instead of doing things where you can get ahead, it enables you to give 
priority to help others overcome their challenges. In the 
process, you will find that it is more meaningful and satisfying in promoting and celebrating the successes and glory of others.    

- It allows us to have the capacity to remain grounded. 
Instead of being clouded by your own biasness, perceptions, 
successes and failures, it enables you to have flexibility and 
a clear and open mind. This in turn leads to sensible 
decisions, humbling you to continue to keep learning and
transforming through the stories of the people around us. 


3 Rules to your journey to Humility


Mind your own business


When situations occur, we often act like we know the whole 

story, making assumptions, giving our opinions or 

judgements regarding it. Although, humility is to focus on 

others, there is a difference in wanting to show concern and 

being nosy or insensitive. Remember that we are the 

outsiders; we don’t know the whole story. Hence, at times 

true humility by practice is to mind our own business and let 

others handle it accordingly.


Speak as little as possible about yourself. 



Communication is indeed a way to express yourself,  your presence, initiating your confidence and self-esteem. Remind yourself that communication is also a two-way street; give others the opportunity to communicate as well. Listen as personal experiences are better than the 
books or internet for not only your growth, but the 
enhancement of relationship with the person you are 
speaking with as well. Hence, practicing humility is also very 
much about being mindful, making sure that you are not the 
center of the universe.

Go last


Let others go first, simple things like entering the lift,  

waiting for the bus, ordering food. There’s a real humility 

in saying, “After you.” These everyday events may 

be seemingly small, but these minor events make it easy to 

prompt yourself about others around you. As you do it more and more, humility eventually becomes intuitive.


Lastly, a little quote to spur you;

"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real"
-Thomas Merton 


"Having the simplest humility, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Responsibility


When we face unfortunate circumstances, events, or happenings, or are unsatisfied with the current, we tend to question, “Whose fault is it? / Why is this happening?” 



We seek answers and often start complaining, blaming and shaming the ones responsible for it. After complaining, blaming and shaming, we then choose to accept the situation and get on with our daily lives. These negative thought and behavioural patterns are typical, and I am no exception myself.

We take no action to change the situation because we fear, we fear the rejections, we fear the unknown, and we fear the failures.


How long are we going to allow this to happen, how long are we going to let others decide a future for ourselves, how long are we going to expect things to change without actually doing anything?

We do have a choice, and to have the choice of making things better comes from the acceptance of responsibility.

Responsibility is the feeling that it’s your duty to deal with what comes up, being accountable, and/or being able to act independently and make decisions without authorization.


Responsibility is existent at all levels…
·       Within yourself
·       Friendships
·       Romantic Relationships
·       Family
·       School
·       Corporate
·       Communities/Societies
·       National

Responsibility is a plays a significant role in every part of our life. With responsibility, we are definitely empowered to make changes in any area; specifically changes for the better.

Take responsibility with us today!



3 rules to take charge of your life


1. Maintain a routine- Consistency is key, it enables us to resist against procrastination. It also makes us plan and think ahead of time, making more conscious and positive self- decisions that benefit ourselves. Taking control of your time is the first step to accepting responsibility in your life. 


2. Stop playing “victim”- Stop with the blaming, complaining and shaming; on others and more importantly yourself. 
Learn to reframe these thoughts of “could have, should have, and would have”. Acknowledge that what is done is done, let the past be past and focus on the present. Be proud that you chose to give yourself an opportunity to make a choice to learn, grow and make things better.



3. Be courageous- Lead and take the first step, try not to let fear conquer yourself. Do not allow fear to close your doors to improve.

Remember responsibility comes from within, external demands or a pressure for responsibilities is not the ultimate goal. 

Only you can take accountability for yourself.


Once responsibility is achieved from the inside, you have the power to impact another; from friends and family surrounding you to a community, society and ultimately a national level.

Fate lies in your hands, decide to be the glimmer of hope toward a generation of advancement and progress.

"Having the simplest responsibility, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs:Respect


Respect is a positive feeling of admiration for a person, as well as having appreciation for the qualities of the one respected.


Respect is the main function that makes us feel safe in all social relationships that we have. 



Hence, respect has been always something we are taught to show. 

Respect one another, respect your elders, respect your parents, respect your teachers, respect the authority, etc. 

If the act of showing respect is forced, its main purpose of sustaining human relationships disappears. Relationships will not only be short-lived, but also discomfort, anger or even resentment will be simmering in every little gesture or word done to fulfil the so called “respect”.   



When does respect feels forced?

  • When respect given is demanded based on societal standards and expectations rather than earned through commendable deeds. 

Societal judgements and criticisms will be placed on others before getting to actually know the person. This makes it hard to get respect from others and show respect to others as we are unable to treat everyone with an equal level of respect. 

The act of showing respect again becomes more conflicting and complicated when the person deserving of respect due to status does not exhibit qualities or behaviors that earns respect. 

  • When one do not have self-respect.

Respectful actions from such individuals can cause the one at the receiving end to be uneasy or irritated as it is viewed as overdone or too much.     

Always giving and not receiving = constantly exhausted and trapped in the cycle of feeling not enough or unworthy.  





3 Means for Authentic Respect 


1.Treat others in the manner you want to be treated- Regardless of age, race, gender, status, etc… 


Remember basic kindness.
Encourage others.
Stand firm in your convictions.
Play fair and smart.
Extend a helping hand.
Cause no harm.
Think before you speak.



2. Maintain your integrity- Remember to walk the talk while doing so.

3. Develop self-respect- Only when you can respect yourself, then you are able to respect others and gain respect from others. 


"Having the simplest respect, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Compassion



Compassion is a genuine sympathy for hardship or suffering that other people are experiencing, and a desire to ease that pain. Compassion is innate; researchers have defined compassion to be an instinct, an automatic untaught response that guards for our survival. It is agreed upon that the root of compassion stems from kindness. 

However, at times acts induced by compassion may actually be acts harming instead of helping.

Three examples of such acts are stated in the following: 


The 1st example- A deed of feeding a stray cat. Such gesture may cause the cat to be dependent on another to survive, losing its capacity for self-survival. 

Although acts of kindness are induced on the basis of our emotions, it can potentially limit our logical thought process. This can hinder the beneficial outcomes that the other can possess through setbacks/difficult circumstances.  


The 2nd example- A deed of being tolerant when others project their anger on you. Such behavior may instill the learning of such coping mechanisms, ultimately hurting not only them, but you in the process as well. 

This highlights the significance of ‘Compassion Fatigue’, which occurs when one continuously perform caring acts, without giving importance to themselves, ultimately depleting their own emotional and physical resources.   



The 3rd Example – A deed of showing care and concern for a friend who have experienced distress. Sometimes, the other may appreciate being left alone to cope with the situation rather than requiring a listening ear when they may not be ready to open up/ share their issues.  

There are many forms of showing compassion, however, not all methods will be deemed as considerate or even regarded as inconsiderate by the one receiving help. 


Although we may all have compassion, we must recognize and beware that the practice of compassion is more than it meets the eye. 


3 Things to consider before we offer help!

1. Take a moment to think before acting -Make sure that your current emotion does not rule over your logics, be rational and you will come up with the best solution to truly help the other.



2. Ask yourself- Is it a forced behavior? – Are you being considerate to yourself? Are you doing it just for the sake of pleasing others/because there are other external gains you will get? 

3. Listen to the needs of “others”- The ones you are helping, instead of assuming that they need this or that.



Compassion has an irreplaceable value in everyone’s life. Compassion breeds Compassion. Let’s make sure that compassion does not become a threat towards us and others! Together, the true meaning of kindness in compassion will definitely shine through and become that saving grace in our society. 


"Having the simplest compassion, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs:Gratitude


Commonly, Gratitude is a social emotion that signals our recognition of the things others have done for us. 

When I hear the word, Gratitude, a certain memory of mine always fades in.

For a school community involvement project, I had an opportunity to volunteer at Batam. At one of the villages, we taught the children how to make handicraft bracelets, and these bracelets were given to them as a memento. Unfortunately, a little girl lost her bracelet, but thankfully, we managed to find it in the end. 

This incident is ingrained deeply in my heart as I not only managed to help the little girl, but more importantly it taught me the true meaning of Gratitude.  

That change in emotion from that initial sadness and despair to the shining round eyes, and radiant smiles when she expressed her thanks was unimaginable. When those smiles came through, I thought to myself, will I be able to feel such emotions just over a bracelet? My answer was No. It suddenly dawned on me, if only we were able to sincerely appreciate the smallest things we had in life, the same intensity and frequency of bliss I saw in that little girl can be felt as well.   



Hence, gratitude is not simply experienced from the acknowledgement of what others have done for us but also through the regard and respect for the natural goodness in life. 

Gratitude has been scientifically proven and established itself as the originator of happiness; hence countless amazing life outcomes are associated with gratitude. Some examples include, improving our social & professional lives, and gaining better physical & emotional health. So do not wait & exercise gratitude NOW! 



3 Methods to Exercise Gratitude

1. Pause Before Meals


Before digging in, take the time to appreciate and silently thanked the people involved in making the food, from the farmer to the preparer. 

2. Give thanks for breathing the moment you wake up. 


Appreciate that you are still able to do the things that you have planned out to do the day before. 

3. Acknowledge those who seem to be insignificant but absolutely needed in our daily lives. 


Say thank you to cleaners, road side sweepers, domestic helpers, and construction workers, etc.  


Commitment to gratitude is NOT a passive act. It requires dedication, mindfulness, and selflessness.
Check in regularly with the simple statement: “I AM grateful for___________.”

Directing your attention back to this idea will make gratitude an integral part of your thought process over time.

&

Soon a NEW, POSTIVE AND CHEERFUL you will be mold.


Where the simplest gratitude, create legends