HeartSGBlogs:Being Receptive

Being receptive is to be willing to listen to and accept new ideas and suggestions. 

Firstly, we will focus on the portion about the willingness to listen.

As suggested by psychologists, about 60% of the daily information scanned is done through listening. We listen through various different sound patterns, differences in tones, pitch, volume, etc. Sound is very important as it places us in space and time. Hearing is one of the five senses that humans have, it clearly has its role to assist in the process of receiving external information.

Willingness to listen means to allow you to see different perspectives, various ways, opportunities, options or methods. Willingness to listen is the first step to be receptive as you are taking in external information, be it useful or not it is still important to be open to new and fresh perspectives. 

Fishing for ways to improve changes the way others see and experience you. These are linked to better outcomes, such as enhanced work satisfaction, higher performance reviews and being better able to adapt to different roles. 

Without the willingness to listen, we will be stuck in our bubble, where we continue to remain safe. In our bubble, we cannot see or hear the external world, one that is already changing, adapting and integrating new systems. This further prevents one to step out of their comfort zone to make changes, ultimately hindering the process for growth, development & improvement.

Having the same comfort level will not sustain or keep us satisfied for long, as it eventually bores or becomes uninteresting. Waiting for the time to past while fully enjoying being comfortable with comfortable, or trying to stretch the time of remaining satisfied in our bubble by lying to ourselves will ultimately cause us despair, sorrow, pain & doubt. 

To avoid this, we should choose to constantly be open to getting out of our own comfort zone, so we can enlarge the chances of advancing our comfort level. Hence, the willingness to listen is the first step to reaping the benefits of being receptive.

Secondly, we pay attention to the part on accepting new ideas and suggestions. 

As mentioned, 60% of the external information is received through listening; however psychologists suggest that we only retain 20% of what we hear. That reduction of numbers is done through the process of filtering. Where we filter out information according to what is useful and not. 

The filtering process sometimes backfires at us. This occurs especially for useful information, when it is poorly, harshly delivered or criticism that hurts us. 

We tend to be biased to such information, deeming that there is something wrong with the information because if it is we do not need to get hurt, worry in making any changes, relax and move on with life. But, this causes us to remain in our bubble, as mentioned providing much negative consequences in one’s life. 

We need to embrace and start learning to reduce these biases and accept these useful but scary ideas or suggestions that are fresh and new.  

To allow for growth, development and improvement and other accompanied benefits of being receptive to seep in our hearts, we have to develop the willingness to listen and the acceptance to new ideas and suggestions. Hence, 3 tips will be shared for the opportunity to better you and become the best version you can be. 

3 tips to better your Listening & Acceptance

Be curious about everything

Get into that student mode of learning, absorb everything and ask about anything. Every piece of information processed is worth taking into consideration and worth keeping even though it may not seem useful at this point of time. 

Pay attention to your need for growth instead of your pride

This mindset will grant you the motivation to constantly be on the search and keep a lookout on your external surroundings, enhancing the willingness to listen. Adjusting to the mindset also reduces your pain especially when you receive information that is harshly or poorly delivered. This tip allows you to better forgive and accept your weaknesses, granting you the power to be more accepting of constructive criticism.  

Be silent

Take some time to not only listen to the external but also to your own internal. Look to your inner self, be open, give yourself the chance to express, listen and accept. It is easier to listen to new ideas and accept our weaknesses from ourselves as compared to when it’s from others.   

From not knowing, to knowing, from avoidance to embracing… That is what being receptive brings!

"Having the simplest reception, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Generosity

Generosity is the willingness to give others things that have value, be it material possessions, money, time, or love.  

Generosity allows you to see things in another perspective, to be more empathetic, to cherish things that you have, and most importantly the very reason that affirms your own self-worth and value. 

Generosity is not measured by the amount one give, if one gives more, it does not necessarily mean that he/she is more generous than you. Generosity can be from the richest to the poorest. Anyone and everyone have the potential for being generous. Generosity is not a competition, for self-glory, or for the sole purpose to get something out of it. These types of generosity practiced are not sustainable. Giving on such purposes will eventually make giving a burden to you, leading to anger, resentment and even victimhood. 









Generosity is not only about your actions but also your attitude. 

Anyone and everyone can give, however, how many are truly sincere, where their intentions/thoughts are in line with their actions. 

Are you genuinely generous?

Do not let the “bad” side of generosity keep you away from giving, but in return let it be something that each of us recognise while giving. 

3 ways for genuine Generosity

Recognise that “You have a gift”

Everyone is capable of giving; do not compare yourself to others when you give. Maybe your gift is not as fully developed yet, and it is on its way to be fully developed. Do not worry about not giving enough. When generosity comes from the heart, from within, genuine generosity is already in you. 

Recognise that “You have to use that gift”

We may neglect our gifts and think that we have more important things in our life rather than giving. However, giving does not necessarily mean that we have to do great things, like committing yourself to volunteering, or donating to a specific charity organisation, or reaching out to those living in poverty. Using our gifts can be simply giving our full attention to another in a conversation, or to forgive someone who has took their anger out on you, or solely adding a “please” or “thank you” in your daily conversation. Genuine generosity can be absolutely small. 
    

Recognise that “Your gift is not about you”

When we start practicing acts of generosity, keep in mind that what we give is for the sake and good of others. Appreciate the capacity to give and rather do not expect anything in return when giving. Practise unconditional giving, the other at the receiving end, may not accept, appreciate or even resent you for your generosity. Know that you have given without any bad intentions. Try to see it the perspective of the receiver, empathise and not sympathise their situation. Also, do not start blaming yourself or judge yourself for giving in a wrong manner. It is never about you but the other. 

Genuine generosity sparks from within, we have that strength. 
Genuine generosity is fair, small or big actions count as well 
Genuine generosity is about serving others, OTHERS become more important than you. 

ONCE genuine GENEROSITY is in you, giving becomes such a joy and you will ultimately reap unexpected rewards beneficially to your life!

"Having the simplest generosity, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs:Obedience

Obedience is assenting to rightful authority with hesitations or resistance. 

Obedience is plays a very important role in our society as it generates the system of hierarchy. It provides order within the society, harmony within the family, and respect within the school/work environment. It supports other values, like knowledge, understanding, humility and gratitude.  

Obedience, from another perspective is deemed as a bad trait;

When ‘rightful authority’ commands, think, act, or guides one out of good but evil, not for others but for themselves. This obedience has caused and explained for the dismay and the horrors of world war two, where people practiced obedience despite how morally wrong the commands given by ‘rightful authority’ were. 

Inauthentic obedience, whereby one pretends and is not genuine on obeying, also can bring negative consequences. An example of such would be inculcating the habit of lying. This is evident in children, when they are not able to resist the temptations of a chocolate, disobeying their parents and the rule of not eating that chocolate. They were not taught to lie but they have learnt to merely choose the easier choice of hiding away from punishment. 

Obedience is also difficult in nature as it counters other self-promoting values like self-reliance, independence, autonomy and individualism. 

Such obedience is not the type of obedience we want, obedience is something that is supposed to be moral, a virtue, a characteristic that is beneficial for everyone. 

As the famous quote says, nothing in life that’s worth having comes easy. 

Practicing authentic, genuine obedience, reaping the fruits of obedience is no doubt a difficult process.

Why we often choose disobedience or negative obedience?
It allows us to do what we want. It boosts our pride and ego, the thought of having full freedom to do what we like to do. Being in full control, and having the pleasure of saying ‘I do not need help’.

If we decide not to obey what’s right, a price has to be paid. 

Obedience assures us the path to trust those around us; it gives us confidence to see the good in those around us. 

Once the good side of every individual is seen, ultimate peace will be granted from within. 

3 Ways to be more obedient

Think in the perspective of those holding authority

Question yourself “why do they want you to do this?” Once you realize the reason and see the truth for their actions. It is easier to obey, as you eventually know that their commands are for the sake of the good of the society or personally for you. Even if you still go ahead to disobey their commands, you know that their intentions are not bad, reducing the chances of disobeying them every time. 

Avoid back talking

Back talking occurs when your emotions rule over your logic. Once, words are laid out, it is hard to retrieve them back. Once the relationship between you & authority is damaged, it becomes harder to obey. In fact, it increases the chances of rebelling against them, as you feel that you have edge over authority. When you disagree with authority, pause and be aware of your emotions, control them. Remind yourself, that you are not in the best state at the moment. Show respect, avoid confrontations, and discuss your reasons with authority in private.   

Show gratitude for the authority

Appreciate & acknowledge their role as an authority figure. Authority figures are humans as well; they are the same as everyone. However, they have to shoulder the responsibility of constantly being judged by the eyes of the society. Give thanks that you are not in that position, as they had took up the role with great sacrifice.   

Obey Now! 

For we are blessed enough to be able to have someone or a society that we can show love to by obeying.

"Having the simplest obedience, create Legends"

HeartSGBlogs: Honesty

Honesty is the best policy- Benjamin Franklin.

It has always been and always will be. Some may question this quote, what about “white lies”? Lies that we say to prevent causing hurt or harm to others and to ourselves.

How can honesty be the best policy when you see someone/even yourself so happy and then dampen their moods or your own moods by telling and facing the truth?

Think further…

Would someone else or you be truly happy in any situation that seems like a bed of roses when in fact all experienced is fake and totally a lie? 

No secrets can be kept forever; the cat will be eventually let out of the bag.

Lies cannot be sustained or maintained, they only can be maintained through more and more lies. Why would we want ourselves or others around us to live a life full of lies? Deception, lying to others and ourselves will bring unbearable pain and regret.

Thankfully, everyone is given a choice. A choice to “help” another or yourself remain in those “white lies” or the choice to allow another or yourself to get out of the room full of lies and face the truth, the brutally honest truth. 

Be smart, remember that all things will come to light, do not let or wait for the one little lie ruin what you have or can have. 

3 Steps for Honesty

Have Courage

To yourself- Face those fears and insecurities, seek self-acceptance and let go of that ego, improve and grow from there. Celebrate your talents and work on your shortcomings. 

To others- Take that leap of faith to have that confidence in those around you. That even if the truth hurts; they will cherish your honesty and take your feedback into account. This is also an opportunity to test whether your relationships are healthy and secure.

Have Self-Awareness

To yourself- Take others feedback & opinions into consideration, take time to recognize the lies that you have been telling yourself.

Become observers of yourself- When you have a strong emotional reaction to something, Pause, when what you say does not match how you act, Pause, when you think of irrational thoughts, Pause. Ask yourself what does this say about me.

To others- Question yourself- Are you hiding the fact really for the good of them, or the selfish intentions of desire to maintain the good relationship. Besides, if there lies in the relationship, the trust that was initially built upon would fade, ultimately destroying the relationship. Do unto others what they would like to do to you.    

Let go of that insult, blame, exaggeration, or judgment

We tell lies because the truth hurts. However we can lessen the hurts of the truth by taking it in a positive manner, as a way to grow and learn.

To yourself- Focus on how the truth can help you and instead of being trapped in the circle of self-judgement and pain.

To others – Tell the truth in a serious but light hearted manner, show your openness and treat the truth as a way to allow another to grow. Do not put it in a manner that it makes them feel embarrassed, shame, or ridiculed.

Honesty is ultimately good for yourself and all those around you. Display and seek the truth, for it never lets you down.

"Having the simplest honesty, create Legends"